I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
