Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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