he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
