It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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