You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
