even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
