At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
