Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
