My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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