I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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