Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
