I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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