Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
