Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
