My nipple is on Facebook.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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