I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
