"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
