Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
