she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
