And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
