if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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