Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
