I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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