pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The uberlube is also flammable
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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