remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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