Farmville is her only friend.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You are the jesus of drinking
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
