Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
