so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
