hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
