Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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