Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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