I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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