dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
