now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
