Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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