it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
