he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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