I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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