An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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