he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
