One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
