I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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