I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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