you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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