it hurts more in the daytime
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
BRING THE BAGELS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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