It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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