My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
