I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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