when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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