Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
