Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This baby is an asshole
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
