she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The ass gains better be worth it
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