No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
