mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
