Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
